This week’s lesson is brought to you by that wonderful word, Grace.
Ah, sweet, sweet grace! I need it, no, depend on it, seek it and live in it. It is a gift from the Lord. A part of His character. Wonderful grace.
In becoming a mom I have learned more about grace than ever before. Prior to motherhood I would have said I had a pretty good handle on grace. I understood the concept and appreciated my need for it.
As a mom I have gained a much deeper understanding and appreciation of grace. In fact, often times my need for grace hits me more like a gentle but giant wave to the heart that overwhelms me and calms me all at once. How is that even possible? I don’t know, but God is awesome!
Thankfully, my husband and I have a mostly peaceful relationship. But we have our moments, of course, hello, we’re humans! I just really hate when those moments are in front of other people. Like really, really hate.
I had a childhood friend who knew this and used it to manipulate me to get what she wanted. She would stage a public argument so that I would give in on something. Ah, the wounds of childhood, so fun, right!? Yes, this was total emotional manipulation, and 100% unhealthy and wrong, but I was a kid and didn’t know how to get myself out of it for a very long time.
Fast forward to the present and you can probably see why I melt into this dark hole for hours, if not days of repeating everything I said and how it may have been taken by those around us after Mark and I have a public disagreement. And I’m not even talking argument, I mean- I said something slightly disagreeing with him or got a tiny bit frustrated with him and someone else may have noticed…yes, I know, I’m working on this! Hence, this post!
So, while I’m reliving, analyzing, critiquing and overall torturing myself mentally for something Mark didn’t even think twice about and I assume (hope) whoever witnessed didn’t even register as being a big deal – GOD stepped in. Thank you Jesus!!
This is where my grace lesson comes in. I have learned to give grace to myself. This has been one of the biggest and most important lesson for me so far as a mom.
Grace for myself.
Why is it so hard to let myself off the hook when I am so able to give grace to others? Why do I think it necessary to hold myself in this pit while God has already lifted me out?
God is setting me free. He is teaching me more about His unconditional, undying, perfect Love for me. He is more than enough, He is my everything, I do not have to be perfect. I am free to mess up, to be human, because He not only forgives me, and forgets it, by the way, but He expects it. He has made me human, and with that comes a sinful nature. Yes, it is my job and goal to fight that, but with His help through faith in Him. He is molding me, I do not have to do all this work on my own. I am His and He is mine and the rest is exactly that, a place for me to REST in Him as He holds me close.
“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.
How do you feel about public disagreements?
What has been one of your big lessons as a parent?
Do you have a story about a time when the grace of God hit you in an overwhelming way?